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| 10 Physical Signs You're In The Honeymoon Phase Of A Relationship |
Studies have found that this part of the
relationship, where you're falling in love, is on par with the same feeling
cocaine gives you. Yes, love and cocaine affect your brain in similar
ways.
But while the honeymoon phase is
indeed fantastic, it can't last — and that's OK. Not just because
everything in life is fleeting, but because relationships have to evolve.
“Sometimes people expect the honeymoon phase to last forever and
that’s unrealistic,” NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson,
LMSW tells Bustle. “People interpret getting comfortable with getting
bored.”
Although the stability that comes as a
partnership progresses is great, there's no debating that there’s something
incredibly special about that can’t-get-enough feeling at the
beginning of a relationship. Here are the physical signs of the honeymoon phase,
according to experts.
Your Body Does All The Thinking
Not that the body can think, per se, but
it definitely seems to have a mind of its own when you're in the honeymoon
phase. All that person you're into has to do is walk into a room and your body
responds immediately.
"You might find increased sexual
arousal and frequency of sexual intercourse," board-certified
psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Edelman, tells Bustle.
As a certified clinical sexologist, a sexuality counselor, and author of My Husband Wont Have Sex With
Me and The Ultimate Intimacy Guide For Passionate People, Dr.
Dawn Michael "The physical signs are that of the body wanting the other
person. "For women, it can be she gets wet and she feels desire as her
body gets turned on just from the presence of the person. He gets an erection
and zeros in on her with intense focus."
You Have An Actual
Craving
According
to Dr. Michael, the bodies of two people in the honeymoon phase “literally
crave each other.” Whether it's a matter of having all that sex or just
being wrapped up in each other's bodies, the yearning is real.
Increased Energy
If in the early stages of a
relationship, you've found yourself able to stay up all night long with your
partner, without getting tired, it's because of increased energy.
According to Dr. Edelman, a physical sign
of the honeymoon phase is increased energy — for which we can thank adrenaline,
as it's one of the hormones that's being released during this phase, in
addition to dopamine and serotonin.
The First Thing You Do Is Kiss Your Partner When You Come Home
If the first thing you do after a long day
at work is looking for your partner when you come home, that’s a good sign that
you’re still in the honeymoon phase. As Laura Silverstein, LCSW, certified
couples therapist and author of Love Is an Action Verb,
couples who do this tend to prioritize their relationship.
“Let's face it, life is busy,” she says.
“Many times we enter our homes with arms full of groceries while chatting on
the phone and closing the door behind us with an elbow or heel. But when you
make it a daily habit to track your partner down for a millisecond of
connection before tending to the rest of your responsibilities it keeps you and
your partner feeling loved and connected.”
There's A Whole Boatload Of Smiling
"You
smile when your eyes lock with your partner," says Amy Levine, sex coach
and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, "and [you] make and take the
time to do [it]."
Although
we should, ideally, be smiling at least once a day, you can recognize someone
in the honeymoon phase because even just a look at their partner will bring on
the smiling.
You Initiate Physical Contact For Connection, Not Just For Sex
You can still find yourself in the
honeymoon phase after years of being together. According to Silverstein, it’s
not impossible to hold on to the kind of chemistry you first had at the
beginning of the relationship. It does, however, take a bit of intentionality.
One of the best ways to keep the passion alive is to initiate affection
throughout the day without any intentions of it leading to something more.
“By kissing, holding hands, and giving
massages, you are nonverbally reminding each other that you are lovers, not
roommates,” Silverstein says. “This often makes the let-down easier if one
person is not in the mood for sex.”
Your Attention On Each Other Becomes Hyper-Focused
"There is also the idea of
hyper-focus that happens where [the two people] focus attention on each other,
more so than anything else," says Dr. Michael. "This can be caused by
hormones — men and women both release healthy amounts of testosterone and
estrogen —in the brain leading to lust based in our biology of mating."
So. Much. Making. Out.
Although totally normal, makeout
sessions tend to dwindle as relationships progress, but in the
early stages, they're hot and heavy and frequent. According to Levine, you're
not just giving each other a peck, but frenching all the d*mn time.
Your Emotions Are Affected
When the physical reaction is so
all-encompassing, so non-stop, so near-obsession, everything gets affected —
emotions included. "The hormones can be so powerful," says Dr.
Michael, "that they affect emotions as well." But this is actually a
good thing because if the emotions weren't there, you'd never evolve in your
relationship.
You
Remain Calm When Your Partner Is Having A Bad Day
Couples in the honeymoon phase give each
other the benefit of the doubt when someone is moody or drops the ball and
forgets to do something they said they would. You don’t automatically assume
the worst or get negative.
“Thriving relationships stay fresh when
you remember you're in a relationship with an imperfect human being who makes
mistakes,” Silverstein says. “They forget to do things, and they get stressed
out and moody. You can stay in the honeymoon phase by expecting these things to
be normal parts of your love life.”
According to her, partners who are
happiest always look for ways to “elevate each other’s awesomeness.” They never
dwell on their faults. If you keep a positive mindset about your relationship,
you can stay in the honeymoon phase for a long time.
While there's no denying that the
honeymoon phase is essential in relationships, it's ultimately fleeting. So
soak it all in while you have it because that cozy, comfortable,
I-can-pee-in-front-of-you stage is coming. But don't worry, it has its perks
too.
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