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| Three Ways To Get Back At An Ex Who Really Hurt You |
I know how you feel. I woke up one morning
and found a wedding ring and a note that stated "I guess by now you know
what happened." No goodbye. No, I'm sorry. No consideration. No life left
in me. I felt like I had been reamed.
How could your ex reject you? I understand
the pain and I can tell you I have been there. You have been run through the
heart and you can't stop the bleeding. You cry every time you hear,
"Nobody Knows it But Me," but everybody knows it. Nobody can do
anything about it. Your ex won't return your calls. Your ex won't answer your
texts. Nobody will help you meet with him or her. Everyone who can help has
turned their back.
You, my friend, are in the second stage of grief. You went through shock and disbelief and now you are pissed! I have been there. I have to tell you this is just a phase. It makes it no less accurate to know that, but you will get through this. I am going to give you 3 ways to get back at your ex, but I will not tell you how to do something that will get you in Dutch with the law (no offense intended to the Dutch). Do these things and you may even find yourself back in communication with your ex, but don't push that yet.
The first
way to get back at your ex is to start looking like you didn't get hurt. You
need to leave the impression that it was time for a breakup and you agree with
it now. You needed your own space to build your own life. You are not an
appendage to your ex. You are an independent person with strength and poise.
This is your new posture. This will bring out the qualities that initially
attracted your ex to you.
Fix your
hair. Wash your face and get looking good, then go out. You don't have to hunt
for a rebound mate, and I recommend you don't. Just do some of the things you
couldn't do while your ex was with you. Maybe you used to shoot a mean game of
pool. Maybe you sang karaoke at a local hangout. Maybe you enjoyed your
workouts. Get yourself back and you will get back at your ex at a deep level by
getting out from under the spell.
The second
way to get back at your ex is to stop calling and texting. No more tweeting
your pain. Let him or her start to wonder and begin to miss you. You have to
give your ex some space to allow them to miss you. Have you ever heard the two
statements, "familiarity breeds contempt" and "absence makes the
heart grow fonder"? These two apply here. Get back at your ex by letting
the ex worry about a change. Your ex may be thinking the breakup was a bad idea.
Let your ex marinate with that for a while. You can be a little hard to get
without being mean. It will drive them crazy.
The third
way to get back at your ex is to be kind. Like the Bible says, "Love your
enemy." Your ex has made himself or herself your social enemy. Another
passage says you "heap coals on his head" by being very kind, so you
can very much be getting back at your ex by being a kind sweetheart and not
returning harshness for harshness. This does not mean being a doormat. In fact,
you need to have your strength about you if your ex tries any kind of power-play or tries to play games with your emotions.
On a related subject - sometimes at this
stage the ex will act like he or she wants to get back with you but only gives
a hint. This may be a trap. If your ex had a controlling streak, he or she may
be checking to see if you are still their pet. Don't jump until your ex has
said clearly that he or she wants to try again. That commits them to it and
that is when you can decide whether this will work. Until then, don't let
yourself get trapped.
To sum up, you may think getting back
at your ex is all about your ex. It is not. It is all about you. Get
yourself together and you put yourself where you need to be to get your ex
back.
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