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| What Does It Mean When Your Ex Keeps Texting You? |
When your ex keeps texting you,
It's often easy to take modern convenience
for granted - and if you take the time to think about it, it's often
overwhelming. It's so easy to reach out and make contact with someone else
these days, and when it comes to contact, there's nothing like a text message to make it possible. It's second nature, now, and you don't even really have to
think about it before it's done.
When someone else breaks up with you,
though, you imagine that all the texts that the two of you exchanged throughout your relationship are at a natural end. There's nothing between
you anymore, regardless of how you may still feel about your ex. It's over. You
take that word "over" seriously, and expect that you won't hear from
your ex for quite some time. Nothing surprises you more than receiving a text
from them out of the blue, not long after they've dumped you.
Why does your ex still text you? Does it have to do with the breakup, or are they starting to have second thoughts? Should you try to decipher the message to look for hidden meanings, or keep it simple on a surface level? What are they really after, and what does it mean for you?
What Is Your Ex's Agenda?
It's easy
to try and rationalize your ex's text messages to avoid getting your
hopes up without cause. The bottom line remains -there simply are no
innocent reasons for your ex to be texting you after the
breakup. They're clearly looking for something, and now your choice becomes
either to let them have it or to use the advantage and regain the upper hand.
If your
ex's text didn't come complete with a reason for contacting you at all, don't
be surprised. The justifications and rationalizations come easily in the wake
of a breakup, and truthfully, your ex may not realize fully why they're texting
you either. If they can't fully grasp the reason for their actions, how could
they possibly explain them to you?
Although
the world seems to be a murky river where you're unable to see through the
water to the bottom, a few things are as clear as glass. Firstly, your ex is
clearly thinking about you - or else they never would have worked up the nerve
to send that message in the first place. Secondly, since they've been thinking
of you so often, it's naturally understood that they'll start to miss you as
well. Since it's highly suspect that their motives are entirely pure, it's
possible to deduce that something lurks beneath the surface. Take it as a
good sign, even if you don't clearly understand it at the time. Things have a
way of working themselves out - but don't mistake that as a reason to sit back
and refuse to take action.
Is Your Ex Texting Regularly?
Take a
step back and look at the cold hard facts. You know that not everything in a
breakup can be solved in a single conversation, and there are some valid
reasons for your ex to ask you a question or split up some mutual property.
Texts of this nature will generally come one at a time, and as soon as the
information is shared, they'll abruptly stop, just like you expected in the first
place.
Alternately, if your ex's messages have nothing to do with solving some lingering issues and carry a flirty or overtly friendly tone, your ex may be dealing with more than they'd like to let on. Does your ex seem to be digging for information about you? Do they ask leading questions to try and determine how you're feeling about them and the breakup overall? If so, it's probably safe to assume that they're trying to gauge their chances of getting you back - if they ever decide to try.
How About the Timing?
As silly as it may sound, timing is
important when it comes to deciphering your ex's messages. Texts during the
evening hours (especially if that's when you and your ex primarily used to
talk) are a huge indication of loneliness and vulnerability. They're finding it
hard to resist staying away - it's familiar, and it's hard to break old habits.
Weekend texts from your ex are
a good indication of having way too much time on their hands. They may proclaim
an active or interesting social life, but the truth is that they're probably
sitting at home, alone on the couch - just like you are. If your ex has the
time to text you as much as they have been doing, their social life is not
picking up like they'd like you to believe that it is.
If your ex finds that drunken texts are
the way to go, don't jump to other conclusions. Their intentions should be
blatantly obvious - once you get past the initial rage and jealousy that come
with the territory. These kinds of messages have only one purpose - your ex
wants to know if you still have feelings for them, and if you give them the
reaction that they're hoping for, they'll know that they still have you right
where they want you - in their back pocket, in case they want to try to get you
back later on.
What is the Best Way To Respond?
What you do in the face of all of these
messages ultimately rests on what you hope to accomplish. If you want to end up
back together when all is said and done, don't feel inclined to respond right
away. There's no harm in keeping them waiting for a little while, and you're
under no obligation to respond within a certain time frame - or at all, for
that matter.
Texts are not the way to go if you're hoping to get back together. A carefully thought-out plan is in order here. The only way to reverse a breakup successfully is to know how to act, when to act, and what to say. Only then can you plan on moving forward, and making sure that forward motion is in a positive direction to reach your goals.
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