The color purple: Alice Walker: Chapter 4 |
Mr. _____ blows smoke, looks down at him,
and says, Yeah, I see now she going to switch the traces on you
I say,
What happens to you, Harpo? He says, Oh, me and that mule. She is fractious, you
know. She went crazy in the field the other day. By the time I got her to head home, I was all banged up. Then when I got home, I walked smack dab into the
crib door. Hit my eye and scratch my chin. Then when that storm come up last
night I shut the window down on my hand. Well, I say, After all that, I don’t
spect you had a chance to see if you could make Sofia mind. Nome, he says. But
he keeps trying
Just when
I was bout to call out that I was coming into the yard, I hear something crash.
It comes from inside the house, so I run up to the porch. The two children are
making mud pies on the edge of the creek, they don’t even look up. I open the
door cautiously, thinking bout robbers and murderers. Horsethieves and hints. But
it is Harpo and Sofia. They fight like two men. Every piece of furniture they
got is turned over. Every plate looks like it broke. The looking glass hangs
crooked, the curtains torn. The bed looks like the stuffing was pulled out. They
don’t notice. They fight. He tries to slap her. What did he do that for? She reaches
down and grabs a piece of stove wood and whacks him across the eyes. He punches her
in the stomach, and she doubles over groaning but comes up with both hands locked right
under his privates. He rolls to the floor. He grabs her dress tail and pulls. She
stands there in her slip. She never blinks an eye. He jumps up to put a hammerlock
under her chin, and she throws him over her back. He falls bam up against the stove. I
don’t know how long this has been going on. I don’t know when they spect to
conclude. I ease on back out, wave to the children by the creek, and walk back on
up home. Saturday morning early, we hear the wagon. Harpo, Sofia, the two
babies are going off for the weekend, to visit Sofia's sister.
For over a month I have had trouble sleeping. I stay up late as I can before Mr. _____ starts
complaining bout the price of kerosene, then I soak myself in a warm bath with
milk and Epsom salts, then sprinkle little witch hazel on my pillow and curtain
out all the moonlight. Sometimes I get a few hours of sleep. Then just when it
looks like it ought to be getting good, I wake up. At first, I’d get up quick
and drink some milk. Then I’d think bout counting fence posts. Then I’d think
bout reading the Bible. What it is? I ask myself. A little voice says Something
you did wrong. Somebody spirit you sin against. Maybe. Way late one night it
comes to me. Sofia. I sin against Sofia's spirit. I pray she doesn’t find out, but
she does. Harpo told. The minute she hears it she comes marching up the path,
toting a sack. Little cut all blue and red under her eye. She says, Just want
you to know I looked to you for help. Ain’t I been helpful? I asked. She opens up
her sack. Here your curtains, she says. Here is your thread. Here a dollar fur
letting me use ’em. They you're, I say, trying to push them back. I’m glad to
help out. Do what I can. You told Harpo to beat me, she said. No, I didn’t, I
said. Don’t lie, she said. I didn’t mean it, I said. Then what do you say it for?
she asked. She stood there looking me straight in the eye. She looks tired and
her jaws are full of air. I say it 'cause I’m a fool, I say. I say it cause I’m
jealous of you. I say it cause you do what I can’t. What that? she says. Fight.
I say. She stands there a long time like what I said took the wind out of her
jaws. She was mad before, but sad now. She says All my life I had to fight. I had to
fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my
uncles. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men. But I never thought I’d
have to fight in my own house. She let out her breath. I love Harpo, she says.
God knows I do. But I’ll kill him dead before I let him beat me. Now if you
want a dead son-in-law you just keep on advising him like you doing. She put
her hand on her hip. I used to hunt game with a bow and arrow, she says. I stop
the little trembling that started when I saw her coming. I’m so shame of
myself, I say. And the Lord he did whip my little bit too. The Lord doesn’t like
ugly, she says. And he ain’t stuck on pretty. This opens the way for our talk to
turn another way. I say You feel sorry for me, don’t you? She thinks for a minute.
Yes, ma’am, she says slowly, I do. I think I know how come, but I asked her anyhow.
She says, To tell the truth, you remind me of my mama. She is under my daddy's thumb.
Now, she was under my daddy's foot. Anything he says goes. She says nothing
back. She never stands up for herself. Try to make a little half-stand sometime
for the children but that always backfires. The more she stands up for us, the harder
time he gives her. He hates children and he hates where they come from. Tho from
all the children he got, you’d never know it. I never know anything bout her
family. I thought, looking at her, nobody in her family could be scared
Shug Avery is sick and nobody in this town
wants to take Queen Honeybee in. Her mammy says She told her so. Her pappy
says, Tramp. A woman at church says she dying— maybe two tuberculosis or some kind
of nasty woman's disease. What? I want toast but don’t. The women at church are sometimes nice to me. Sometimes not. They look at me there struggling with Mr.
_____ children. Trying to drag ’em to the church, trying to keep ’em quiet
after we get there. Some of the same ones used to be here both times I was
big. Sometimes they think I don’t notice, they stare at me. Puzzle. I keep my
head up, the best I can. I do a right smart for the preacher. Clean the floor and
windows, make the wine, and wash the altar linen. Make sure there’s wood for the
stove in wintertime.
Where is going? say Harpo. Hitch up the
wagon, he says again. Harpo hitched up the wagon. They stand there and talk for a few
minutes out by the barn. Then Mr. _____ drives off. One good thing bout the way
he never does any work around the place, we never miss him when he went. Five days
later I look way off up the road and see the wagon coming back. It got sort of
a canopy over it now, made out of old blankets or something. My heart begins to
beat like fur, and the first thing I try to do is change my dress. But too
late for that. By the time I git my head and arm out of the old dress, I see the wagon
pull up in the yard. Plus a new dress won’t help none with my snotty head and
dusty head rag, my old everyday shoes, and the way I smell. I don’t know what to
do, I’m so beside myself. I stand there in the middle of the kitchen. Mind
whirling. I feel like Who Would Have Thought. Celie, I hear Mr. _____ call.
Harpo. I stick my head and my arm back in my old dress and wipe the sweat and
dirt off my face as best I can. I come to the door. Yessir? I asked, and trip
over the broom I was sweeping with when I first notice the wagon. Harpo and
Sofia are in the yard now, looking inside the wagon. Their faces are grim. Who this?
Harpo asked. The woman should have been your mammy, he says. Shug Avery? Harpo
asked. He looks up at me. Help me get her in the house, Mr. _____ says. I think my heart
gon fly out of my mouth when I see one of her feet come poking out. She not lying
down. She climbs down tween Harpo and Mr. ____. And she dresses to kill. She
got on a red wool dress and a chestful of black beads. A shiny black hat with
what looked like chickenhawk feathers curve downside one cheek, and she carried
a little snakeskin bag, to match her shoes.
She looks so stylish like the trees all
around the house draw themself up tall for a better look. Now I see she stumble,
tweens the two men. She doesn’t seem that well acquainted with her feet. Close up
I see all this yellow powder caked upon her face. Red rouge. She looks like she
ain’t long for this world but is dressed well for the next. But I know better.
Come on in, I want to cry. To shout. Come on in. With God's help, Celie going to
make you well. But I don’t say anything. It's not my house. Also, I ain’t been told
anything. They get halfway up the step, and Mr. _____ looks up at me. Celie, he says.
This here Shug Avery. An old friend of the family. Fix up the spare room. Then he
looks down at her, holds her in one arm, and holds on to the rail with the other.
Harpo on the other side looked sad. Sofia and the children are in the yard,
watching. I don’t move at once, 'cause I can’t. I need to see her eyes. I feel
like once I see her eyes my feet can let go of the spot where they are stuck. Git
moving, he says, sharp. And then she lookup. Under all that powder her face
black as Harpo's. She got a long pointed nose and a big fleshy mouth. The lips look
like black plum. Eyes big, glossy. Feverish. And mean. Like, sick as she is, if
a snake crosses her path, she kills it. She looks me over from head to foot. Then
she cackles. Sound like a death rattle. You sure are ugly, she says like she
ain’t believed it.
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