The color purple: Alice Walker: Chapter 2 |
But it is hard to think with getting married to Mr. _____ hanging over my head
The first
time I got big Pa took me out of school. He never cares that I love it. Nettie
stood there at the gate holding tight to my hand. I was all dressed for the first
day. You too dumb to keep going to school, Pa says. Nettie is the clever one in
this bunch
But Pa, Nettie says, crying, Celia is smart too. Even Miss Beasley says so. Nettie dote on Miss Beasley. Think nobody like her in the world
Pa says,
Whoever listens to anything Addie Beasley has to say. She run off at the mouth
so much no man would have her
That is how
come she has to teach school. He never looks up from cleaning his gun. Pretty
soon a bunch of white men comes walking across the yard. They have guns too
Pa gets up
and follows me. The rest of the week I vomit and dress wild game
But Nettie
never gives up. Next thing I know Miss Beasley is at our house trying to talk
to Pa. She says long as has she been a teacher she never knows anybody wants to
learn bad as Nettie and me. But when Pa calls me out and she sees how tight my
dress is, she stops talking and go
Nettie
still doesn’t understand. I don’t either. All we notice is I’m all the time
sick and fat
I feel bad
sometimes Nettie does pass me in learning. But look like nothing she says can get
in my brain and stay. She tries to tell me something about the ground not being
flat. I just say, Yeah, as I know it. I never tell her how flat it looks to me
Mr. Come
finally one day looking all drugs out
The woman
he had helped him quit. His mammy done said No More
He says,
Let me see her again.
Pa call me. Celia, he says. Like it was nothing. Mr. _____ wants another look at you
I go stand
at the door. The sunshine in my eyes. He’s still upon his horse. He looks me up
and down
Pa rattles
his newspaper. Move up, he won’t bite, he says
I got
closer to the steps, but not too close cause I’m a little scared of his horse
Turn
round, Pa says
I turn
round. One of my little brothers come up. I think it was Luscious. He is fat and
playful, all the time munching on something
He says,
What are you doing that for?
Pa says,
Your sister is thinking about marriage
Didn’t
mean anything to him. He pulls my dress tail and asks can he have some
blackberry jam out of the safe
I say,
Yeah
She is good
with children, Pa says, rattling his paper open more. Never heard her say a
hard word to nary one of them. Just give ’me everything they ask for, is the
only problem
Mr. _____
says, That cow still coming?
He says,
Her cow
I spend my
wedding day running from the oldest boy. He twelve. His mama died in his arms
and he doesn’t want to hear anything bout a new one. He picks up a rock and
laid my head open. The blood runs all down tween my breasts.
His daddy
says Don’t do that! But that’s all he says. He got four children, instead of
three, two boys and two girls. The girl's hair ain’t been combed since their
mammy died. I tell him I’ll just have to shave it off. Start fresh.
By ten
o’clock I’m done. They cry themselves to sleep. But I don’t cry. I lay there
thinking about Nettie while he was on top of me wondering if she was safe. And
then I think bout Shag Avery. I know what he doing to me he has done to Shag
Avery and maybe she likes it. I put my arm around him
I was in
town sitting on the wagon while Mr. _____ was in the dry goods store. I have
seen my baby girl. I knew it was her
She looks
just like me and my daddy. Like more us than us is yourself. She is tagging
long hind a lady and they are dressed just alike. They pass the wagon and I
speak. The lady speaks pleasantly. My little girl looks up and sort of frowns.
She fretted over something. She got my eyes just like they are today. Like
everything I have seen, she has seen, and she pondered it
I think
she mines. My heart says she is mine. But I don’t know if she is mine. If she is mine, her name
is Olivia. I embroider Olivia in the seat of all her daddies. I embody a lot of
little stars and flowers too. He took the daddies when he took her. She was about
two months old. Now she is about six
I calm down from the wagon and I follow Olivia and her new mammy into a store. I watch her run her hand long side the counter like she isn't interested in anything. Her ma is buying cloth. She says Don’t touch anything. Olivia yawn That's real pretty, I say, and help her mama drape a piece of cloth close to her face
She
smiles. Gonna make me my girl some new dresses, she says. Her daddy is so proud
Who's her
daddy, I blurt out. It is like at last somebody knows
She says
Mr. _____. But that isn't my daddy's name
Mr. _____?
I say. Who he?
She looks
like I ask something none of my badness
The
Reverend Mr. _____, she said, then turns her face to the clerk. He says, Girl, do you want that cloth or not? We got other customers sides you
She says,
Yes sir. I want five yards, please sir
He
snatches the cloth and thumps down the bolt. He doesn’t measure. When he thinks
he got five-yard he takes it off. That be a dollar and thirty cents, he says.
Do you need a thread?
She says, Now
suh
He says
You can’t sew without thread. He picks up a spool and holds it against the
cloth. That looks like it is bout the right color
Don’t you
think
She says,
Yes
I trail
along behind them on the street
I don’t
have anything to offer and I feel poor
She looks
up and down the street. He isn't here. He isn't here. She says like she gon cry
Who isn't?
I ask
The
Reverend Mr. ___, she says. He took the wagon
My husband
wagon right here, I say
She clams
up. I thank you kindly, she says. We sit looking at all the folks that have
come to town. I had never seen so many even at church. Some be a dress too.
Some don’t hit on much. Dust it all up the lady's dress
He does
look all right, I say. But I don’t think about it when I say it. Most times
men look pretty much alike to me
How long
have you had your little girl? I ask
Oh, she is
seven her next birthday
When that?
I ask
She thinks
back. Then she says, December
I think,
November
I say,
real easy, What do you call her?
She says,
oh, we call her Pauline
My heart
knocks
Then she
frowns. But I call her Olivia
Why do you
call her Olivia if it isn't her name? I ask
Well, just
look at her, she says sort of impish, turning to look at the child, doesn’t she
look like Olivia to you? Look at her eyes, for god’s sake. Somebody ole would
have eyes like that. So I call her ole Livia. She chuckles. Now. Olivia, she
says patting the child's hair. Well, here comes the Reverend Mr. _____, she
says. I see a wagon and a great big man in black holding a whip. We sure do
thank you for your hospitality. She laughs again and looks at the horses flicking
flies off their rump
Hospitality,
she says. And I get it and laugh. It feels like to split my face
Mr. _____,
come out of the store. Clam up in the wagon
Set down.
Say real slow. What are you setting here laughing like a fool for?
The End
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